Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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