I think I can smell my own vagina right now
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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