belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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