my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
