I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I would ride that face into the sunset
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
