my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize