Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
