Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
