You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
