Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
