Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
