I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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