where does the pee come out of this thing
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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