I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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