By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize