The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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