I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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