He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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