Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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