He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
