I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
