is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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