I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
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I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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