Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
