This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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