Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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