I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
