...so i touched it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
