I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
