We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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