So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
