Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My ass is underappreciated
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
