I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
where does the pee come out of this thing
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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