So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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