Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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