never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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