Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
