Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
