oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
