I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
