WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
