Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
