party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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