He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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