Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
