so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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