now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
