Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
