drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize