It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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