Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
