flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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