Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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