Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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