That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize