Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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