I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
