Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
