I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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