I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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