Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
