I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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